Author Archives: Mendel Clark

Anti-Chanukah Song

The first version of the Chanukah Song, written by Adam Sandler and first performed on Motzoei Shabbos Live, is now 17 years old. Wikipedia describes it best, with Sandler listing celebrities “as a way of sympathizing with their situation. He was worried that Jews might feel a bit jealous for not having such a huge holiday like Christmas, but would somehow feel better if they found out that celebrities are/were of the same faith. For years, I loved the song, going as far as memorizing all three versions. Every time I’d find out about a famous movie star being Jewish, I’d think “score one for the team.” Then one day, that began to change. I started to realize that as many cool Jewish celebrities exist, there are just as many that get popular for being completely horrible people.

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Tis’ the Season

There’s nothing like sitting around the table after lighting the menorah, eating latkas and spinning the dreidel with family and friends. Singing songs like Al Hanisim, I Have a Little Dreidel, Chanukah Oy Chanukah really get you into the Jewish spirit. Then, as you walk outside, you’re greeted by all of your neighbours lights. The thing is, unless you live in a strictly Jewish community, you might notice that their lights are a little bigger than yours are. They’re brighter, more colourful, more creative, and sometimes last for weeks instead of eight days. You step into the mall, and you’re greeted with decorations, festive music, and a cheerful, if frantic mood. Turn on the TV (or don’t, whatever), and every channel is filled with special programs, like Miracle on 34th Street, Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, and A Charlie Brown Christmas. The goyim have taken their holiday, and gone completely overboard.

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“Jew” – The Verb

Jew GoldThose of you who play Scrabble may know that the word “jew” is actually a legal word (and scores high.) However, it isn’t defined as the proper noun, but rather the verb “to bargain,” with “jewed” and “jewing” also counting as words. The Scrabble dictionary has many other derogatory terms, such as “hebe” and “kike,” but giving legitimacy to a negative stereotype certainly stands out.
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Sukkos: A Look Back

Now that we’re in a different month, I feel that I can take an objective look at what I did or did not like about Sukkos this year.  Like everyone else, I obviously loved having 3 days of yontif twice in ten days, and it didn’t tire me out in the least. I truly enjoyed long meals outside, what with the beautifully warm and dry Toronto weather, overly spacious seating arrangements, and a great opportunity to train for that beekeeping job I’ve been after. I can’t think of a single time that I hoped it would rain, or patiently waited until it did, so that I wouldn’t be halachically obligated to eat outside. Read the rest of this entry

Witty Pun Related to Judaism

I’m standing in a customer service line waiting to be taken, and there are three possible representatives: an African-American, an Asian, and a Jew. The first thought that pops into my head is, “I hope I get the Asian.” Now, I’ll admit this happened at an electronics store, and racism aside, this was probably the correct choice, but you know where I’m headed. I don’t find myself associating with “the Jew” in random settings. I love him like a brother, but I don’t necessarily like him.

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