The angriest/funniest comment we’ve ever gotten
Found this one in the archives. It was intended to appear on the Contribute page of the site and was posted in 2013 by someone named Berel Label (fake name). It was never published because of the names mentioned in the comment and the malice (and bizarre affection) intended towards them. The comment really had nothing to about the blog but rather some random rant about a misjustice done to this person in the community. And because the author of this blog finds rants of frustration via comments very hilarious, I just had to share the following madness.
Besides the whited-out names and locations (you can figure things out on your own. Come on, it’ll be fun), nothing has been edited from this masterpiece – grammar and spelling mistakes included.
Enjoy. Or lament.
As many people know or who have felt the effects of the recession, funds can dry up. In my case, totally.
It was around September, 2012 when I received a phone call from someone at *** , saying ‘we noticed you were here last year for Yom Tovim’ . Really I said. ‘Yes’ he said. I thought, Interesting. I was noticed.
Did I make noise or distrupt the davening I asked. The answer was ‘I am calling you about renewing your membership’. No answer to my question though.
I said I am flat broke. I cannot afford anything as it stands. But I want to come to shul for Yom Tov Davening. He said. ‘you should have appealed to the commitee’ I answered ‘I don’t beg and won’t beg to daven to the ALMIGHTY.
As it turns out, a friend of mine who knew my situation called ***. Not once, but 3 times. In vain, as the call was never returned to ***. At the time I did not know about my friend calling *** in regards to me. Not in any way, shape or form.
My friend who made the calls to *** helps kids at Bar Mitzvah time in Eretz Yisroel who may have lost a parent and cannot afford Tefillin. He makes a huge Bar Mitzvah in Yerushalyim every year for these kids. And this so-called rabbi could not find the time to return HIS call?
This *** is no *** (may his name be blessed).
HaGaon, HaMaran, *** would have returned the first phone call. But then one must realize *** IS A TRUE ***in EVERY SENSE OF THE WORD.
In saying this I want to make it clear that I was not looking or trying to aquire ‘free’ tickets for my wife and myself. I had every intention of renewing my membership. But it so BUGS be that the statement ‘we noticed you last year’. I AM A FOUNDING member. So it appears to me, no money -> no GOD. GOD likes cash but will take checks (cheques in the canadian regime) and common credit cards (Visa, Mastercard).
I happen to be at Sobeys located at Clark and Hilda in Thornhill and saw ‘*** from the *** shul. I have supported them before in a small way. *** said ‘so where are you davening for Rosh HaShanna and Yom Kippur?’ I replied, in my dining room why? *** replied ‘WHAT?” *** went to say, why are you NOT davening at *** where you belong. I said ‘its money Itchy. I am flat broke, I have successfully lost everything. *** ‘noticed’ me (halleluyah) last year but since money is not around, the notice has disolved.
*** immediatly told me to come to *** to daven Rosh HaShanna and Yom Kippur. How nice was that! Even though I am in financial gehinom, *** and *** to the rescue. Actually, one time HaGaon, Maran, *** told me *** of the *** Shul is a good man. This came up because of a funeral.
Well for the first fime since 1986 I went to the *** schul at *** and *** in ***. And whom did I sit with? People who were in the same prediciment as I currently find myself in. People denied access to *** for Rosh HaShanna and Yom Kippur Davening because of financial problems.
This all make me think, what did these people learn from Adolph Hitler and company? Did Adolph and his buddies not get anything into thier money sick heads? Perhaps in their sick minds we (the JEWISH PEOPLE) that are financially downtrodden are still JEWS wanting to DAVEN to HaShem for forgivness and our love for the Almighty? In the case of *** it’s No Money, We DON’t WANT YOU.
Although I have a very close friend at ***, I shall not pass through the doors of ***. The ANTI-*** campain (pure evil) has won. This new ‘bookem Dano’ the ‘spiratual leader’ is a joke of the sickest kind. And let me make this very clear, no one, including ha Gaon, ha Maran, *** asked me to write this.
I am not a ‘***’ and I won’t daven there either only because it was *** that brought me from the other side to the side that worships HaShem. I am a ***. That is, a follower of ***.
Don’t get me wrong about ***. They are good people and care about fellow Jews. It’s just that being a ‘member’ of *** since *** has its effects as I am sure you understand.
After reading the book which I purchased in Munchen (Munich) entitled ‘The Pity of it All’ (I strongly encourage this book to be read), I see how some of Jews gave the ‘finger’ to GOD. I see how the events led to what happened. It’s being repeated at a different level.
Artscroll: change ‘Adon-y’ to Kesef’ Baruch ata Kesef… my rock and my redeemer.
Cleanse the evil HaShem.