Anti-Chanukah Song

The first version of the Chanukah Song, written by Adam Sandler and first performed on Motzoei Shabbos Live, is now 17 years old. Wikipedia describes it best, with Sandler listing celebrities “as a way of sympathizing with their situation. He was worried that Jews might feel a bit jealous for not having such a huge holiday like Christmas, but would somehow feel better if they found out that celebrities are/were of the same faith. For years, I loved the song, going as far as memorizing all three versions. Every time I’d find out about a famous movie star being Jewish, I’d think “score one for the team.” Then one day, that began to change. I started to realize that as many cool Jewish celebrities exist, there are just as many that get popular for being completely horrible people.

Recently in the world of politics, we’ve got Elliot Spitzer and Anthony Weiner. Going even further back, we’ve got influential world leaders such as Stalin, Lenin, Marx, and Trotsky. How about other Jews that have had major effects on the political world, like Yigal Amir, Monica Lewinsky, and Jack Ruby? In fact, wherever you stand politically regarding Israel, you’re guaranteed to hate Jews in the government on the other end of the spectrum.

For every “Ross and Phoebe from Friends,” there’s a Jerry Springer, Howard Stern, and Amy Winehouse A”H. In fact, Adam Sandler himself may have lost public respect after putting out the travesty he called “Jack and Jill.”

Every time you complain about how terrible Facebook is, don’t you just hate that Jew Zuckerberg? In sports, we yell about blocked trades, lockouts, and unfair rules; Selig, Stern, and Bettman, with their big noses and love for money. Speaking of money, you may have heard on the news that Bernie Madoff orchestrated one of the largest financial frauds in history. We don’t stop at just money either. The real name of American serial killer and arsonist “Son of Sam” is David Berkowitz.

It’s a few days before Christmas, and…oh wait, Jesus was Jewish, too, but we don’t usually celebrate that fact. For all you Lubavitch haters, I’ve got sources that in fact The Rebbe was actually born a Jew before he became Moshiach.

Wherever you look, there’s going to be a Jew in charge or extremely influential in some capacity. That’s what we do. But are we proud of these people for Jewish achievements, or of being successful while Jewish? In today’s society, however anti-Semitic we think the world is, it’s not really a big deal for a Jew to be famous anymore. Then, the harder we look at the Jews who “made it,” the more it hurts us when others make a Chilul Hashem. The thing is, many of these people just happen to be Jewish, and they happen to be good or bad. They don’t care about being “like you,” and they don’t consider themselves as Jewish role models when they live their lives. That said, there is one thing we have over Christians: At least if you want a religious role model , you can trust that Rabbis won’t make the news nearly as often as their leaders do.

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Posted on December 27, 2011, in Goyim, Holiday Hype Machine, Holidays, Israel, Jewish, Lubavitchers, Media, People, Social Issues, Uncategorized and tagged . Bookmark the permalink. 11 Comments.

  1. i think that your loose definition of jew makes things confusing.

    if lenin was jewish he was barly jewish, and wasnt raised jewish at all. as for stalin he was also raised not jewishly( )

    if you take that standard then there are very many people that are jewish.

    of course you could just pull a classic jew move and all the good guys say there jewish cause there grandfather was and all the bad say, well there mom isnt so whatever


  2. Tapioca Arkansas

    Kirk Radomski LOL


  3. I’m always excited to find out about a new Jewish celeb or historical figure!

    I’m Jewish, and my girlfriend is from China – its often difficult for me to explain Jewish customs, traditions and history (as it is for her with respect to China)- so whenever I see a Jewish celebrity or historical figure (good or bad), it makes it easier for me to draw parallels for her to better understand me, my wacky traditions. It also helps to put Judaism/Jews in both a historical and contemporary context. Nice post!


  4. I’m glad you vented about the “dark side” of Jewishry. Yes, we are not all perfect, although our neshamas are supposed to STRIVE for that perfection, elusive as it may be at times. But don’t you worry, the WORLD still punishes Jews with greater severity, ie Jonathan Pollard, Weiner and his wiener (did he really have to resign when Clinton’s sex life thrived after his Lewinsky slander!) In Good and Bad times, Jews have to stick together.


    • Bobby Orr-Somayach

      We can’t be forgetting the Gadol harav Madoff. Also, courtney love?

      As for clinton, he didn’t tweet his weiner. Weiner tweeted his weiner….maybe the old adage about Jewish sizes was true? Could be wiener’s sex life couldn’t strict because he was lacking in the right departments? 😉


      • I mentioned R’ Bernie in there, and Courtney Love is in the 2nd version of the song as “half-Jewish,” but a quick search actually shows that she’s sadly not Jewish at all.


      • Frum From Bathurst

        Courtney Love may have not been Jewish, but she’s got nothing on Nancy Spungen – the girlfriend of Sid Vicious from the Sex Pistols (Sid and Nancy) – who was Jewish. Now that’s a bona fide badass rebel.


      • Bobby Orr-Somayach

        Courtney Love is Jewish. I have her name at birth in a book called Jews Who Rock.

        What about Scott Ian? (born Ian Rosenfeld -guitarist from anthrax)
        Or David Draiman who went to TELS, WITS, Skokie, Valley Torah, and Neveh. Disturbed performs Ozzfest and he sends his rosh yeshiva from WITS 2 Ozzfest tickets to see him live lol. Now that’s badass).

        While we’re on this topic the most important anti-yids were missed….Beastie boys. They became Buddhists.


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