Things That Really Grind My Gears #5: Flatbush Mentality while Dating Toronto People

I would like to take this chance to put my own “unique” (Torontonian Jewish) spin on that segment, to tell you guys what really “grinds my gears” in our community, or others.

I will try posting one or two grinds per week to keep this as an ongoing segment.

You know what really grinds my gears?!…

…Hearing a story of this dude from Flatbush who dated this Toronto chick who happens to have been really frum, but who’s family are very “kippah srugah” (gotta give in to the masses) type. The dude in question, had no issues with her family as long as she was frum (the father happened to have been a real Talmud Chacham in a kippah srugah). One of the reasons that the boy decided to stop seeing her was because he couldn’t get over the fact that her family has a “Yom Ha’atzmaut party” every year…What I find funny here is that in the Flatbush mentality, it’s perfectly ok for a family to have a Thanksgiving dinner, which happens to be a Pagan tradition, but to have one for Yom Ha’atmzaut, is just over the top.

Here’s an idea, stop going for our gals! Stick to your own people….it’s times like these when segregation/apartheid might be the correct option (that was a joke…or was it?).

More to come next week. Stay Tuned….

Please send me some suggestions (via reply to this thread) of things that Really Grind YOUR Gears, and I will post the winner in a few weeks!


Posted on December 19, 2011, in Flatbush, Frummies, Hockers, Holidays, Jewish Community, Shidduch, Stories and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 5 Comments.

  1. Not a surprising story… But I don’t really see the problem. I think it’s wise to choose a spouse who has the same values (more or less).I also find your likening of Yom Ha’atzmaut and Thanksgiving a little bit troubling.

    Thanksgiving (or the US tradition thereof, at least) seems more routed in Judeo-Christian values than Pagan. One thing is for sure: many rabbis and Jewish institutions condone the celebration of Thanksgiving.

    Certain Jewish sects’ refusal to celebrate YH has to do with a belief that Jewish statehood of Israel contradicts Torah values.

    I don’t see how the celebration of Thanksgiving and the simultaneously condemnation of YH is in any way hypocritical.

    FTR, I celebrate both holidays.


  2. I think the idea was that it’s frustrating that for some people it’s acceptable to celebrate something which has nothing to do with Jews (Thanksgiving), while rejecting other Jews based on their kipas and other superficial things. You see the double edged matza? It wasn’t so much the celebrating of Thanksgiving that was problematic, rather it’s the attitude of some people who prefer indulging in goyishe traditions instead of embracing their own Jewish brethren who happen to wear techeiles, kippa srugas, and jeans. This was merely a critique of sinas chinam.


    • Bobby Orr-Somayach

      EXTREMELY well put. My sentiments exactly when posting. Granted I should have made them more clear Brian.

      What was hypocritical was the fact that this guy claimed he didn’t mind that the family is very mizrachi (albeit being extremely right-wing aka “frum” mizrachi), as long as the girl was a “good frum girl”. I don’t see how the fact that her family has a Yom Haatzmaut party could have been used as an excuse to terminate a potentially good match and relationship, when this guys family themselves have thanksgiving dinners. How is that any different? IMHO, I’d rather the girl celebrate something Jewish rather than something that has absolutely zero relevance to the Jewish culture, and is glorified “goyish” which he doesn’t want to display or emulate – as per his own words lol.


  3. I think what Brian meant was that to some people Yom Hatzmaut is just as anti-torah/religion as, if not more than, Thanksgiving. That’s another story. I think your lines were crossed over due the example of Thanksgiving vs. Yom Hatzmaut, but the fact remains that there are several structural differences in Judaism which culminate in sinas chinam.


    • Bobby Orr-Somayach

      I always wanted to take a girl like that out and then tell them that I say Hallel on Yom Ha’atzmaut lol…. It would be like saying I pray to Jesus.


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