Things That Really Grind My Gears #1: When people talk about you after seeing you in public

As a good chunk of our fan base has likely grown up on (and still follows) Family Guy, they should be well aware of the segment called “What really grinds my gears?”, I would like to take this chance to put my own “unique” (Torontonian Jewish) spin on that segment, to tell you guys what really “grinds my gears” in our community, or others. I’m sure most of you can relate to a good chunk of this (if not, you could always learn to relate to it :D).

I will try posting one or two grinds per week to keep this as an ongoing segment.

You know what really grinds my gears?!…

…Hearing from a family friend that I was spotted at Yorkdale with my girlfriend in high school, and was then the topic of discussion at someone’s Shabbos table. Funny thing is, the family at which I was apparently the topic of conversation only eat Chalav Yisrael, but where in Yorkdale did his wife spot me at? None other than Baskin & Robbins which is CLEARLY not Chalav Yisrael.

More to come next week. Stay Tuned….

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Posted on November 22, 2011, in Labels, Lashon Horah and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 15 Comments.

  1. Oy vay!! You were caught being a hypocrite!! Gee, that’s original. Yes, it’s embarassing to be seen in a lower-than-standard setting, but then you’ve gotta also say So What after the fact. I mean, you’ve got a girlfriend so it’s not like this Chalav Yisrael family is going to hook you up with their daughter. When you do actually want to hook up with her, THEN you’ll start staying away from Baskin and Robbins. You’ve gotta be happy with the choices you make. Relax already!!

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    • Bobby Orr-Somayach

      1) it was in high school, we don’t make rational choices.
      2) it’s not the hooking up with their daughter I was concerned about, it was the talking badly of me at their shabbos table, and in shul when they don’t even know me, or where I stood religiously.
      3) I wasn’t being hypocritical, because at that point I was in public school and didn’t make myself out to be “frummer than thou”. I sure would hope to expect more of a highly observant family (where the husband just so happened to be a ba’al t’shuva). It says a lot about the current state of our community when the “frummer” you become, the more ignorant you become. To be so careful as to be super machmir on dairy products, you’d think something as trivial (and punishable) as lashon hara/motzei shem rah, they’d be more machmir on as well.

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      • Who cares if they weren’t perfect with Cholov Yisroel, especially out of the house? At the end of the day, you were doing something even more wrong by being with their daughter! They have every right to hold you to a higher standard, especially if you’re a prospective son-in-law.

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      • Bobby Orr-Somayach

        I wasn’t with their daughter. Where did you get that from?…are you that illiterate? I was with an Ulpana girl (who shall remain nameless)….

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      • Bobby Orr-Somayach

        And even if I was with their daughter, wouldn’t that be more reason not to spread or talk bad about me? I mean especially for “a perspective son-in-law”….regardless for the fact I was in high school and obviously wasn’t looking for marriage at the time…. Your whole argument make zero logical sense on all fronts. And I say that in the most respectful light possible….

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      • You are a very bitter person for writing that. Don’t call me illiterate when you don’t know the difference between two really simple words, “perspective” and prospective.
        My advice is to look for the best in everyone, as each individual can bring you the happiness that you don’t have.

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      • Bobby Orr-Somayach

        I replied on iPhone and it autocorrected….I called you illiterate because you decided to comment on something that you completely misunderstood…. Either that or chose to only read a word or two of the reply and then tie in to what you thought that article was about.

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    • Frum From Bathurst

      Bobby, you gotta stop being so self-conscious bro! A good wife wants a confident man, not some shlub who’s worried about his self-image and what people are thinking about him. Perhaps you could take the perspective that if people are talking you maybe they actually care about your well-being…. Judge favourably, man. And if they don’t, take solace that you’re probably a better person than any of those Loshon Horah folk anyway (which means you can do WAY better for wife finding).

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      • Bobby Orr-Somayach

        Again; that was in high school. Clearly I don’t care anymore because I’ve grown to expect as much from my wonderful down south community 🙂

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    • Frum From Bathurst

      You can always move up north… But then again that would require you to get married, have a decent job (unless you wanna live at 601 clark) and have kids.
      But hey, we are nicer up here 🙂

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  2. What’s hilarious is that whoever told you about them speaking at your shabbos table was also speaking lashoiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiin hora.

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    • Bobby Orr-Somayach

      Yes, but that’s the good kind of lashon harah lol…I’m family friends with this dude that told me. He doesn’t do it out of malice. He just said to me “so I hear you have a gf now? How was your Yorkdale date?”…it took some master prying to get it out of him where he heard….

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  3. negiah is 4 fags

    The Ralbag, in his commentary Yalkut deveikim, explains that there are 4 kinds of lashon hora. The Taz, however, argues that there are 3. The Rif quotes the Sheday Eliezer who says you can’t explain if Lashon Hora was said about you. Even the Shamgar Tzvi in the 3rd perek of Sdei Chemed under hilchos kitzur deeboorim says it’s assur.

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  4. I completely agree with you. Where you were, or who you were with is %100 irrelevant. I think that family should be more concerned with the fact that they were talking loshon hara at the SHABBOS table than your goings-on. If one calls themselves, and consider themselves, frum, then they should act like it.

    I’m sorry that they have nothing more interesting to talk about in their own lives, that they had to resort to yours.

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