The worst sin

ATTENTION! ATTENTION! SEVERE WARNING: The following post contains ideas that may be graphic in nature. Reader discretion is advised. Do NOT complain that we didn’t warn you.

For as long as any human being can remember, some actions have always been considered terrible to perform or speak about. Even though we have urges to do some things, we are encouraged to suppress them. The idea that such behavior merely exists is looked down upon by many. The shulchan aruch speaks of this particular aveira, and even the goyim take issue with this certain emission: passing gas in public.

If chas v’shalom you let one rip, especially in front of women, you are considered a monster, will be put in some sort of sick social cherem, and will be viewed as a guy who doesn’t give the get to his wife. Most women will not even acknowledge that this function exists. This action is considered so disgusting that you aren’t allowed to wear tefilin if it happens, and you must also stop learning (chas v’shalom).

In addition to the halachic ramifications (I wonder if the gemara contains any agadeto of that nature), there are many social consequences . Imagine cutting a loud one in shul: nobody would ever forget it. Imagine the Rav farting during his drasha. Obviously, these thoughts are quite outlandish because farting is gross. But who paskind that passing gas is disgusting in the first place? When did society become so anti-flatulence? 1000 years ago, were folks just sitting around one day saying that from now on farting should never be performed in public? There had to have been a point in history where people cut the cheese in public and nobody thought anything of it. When did somebody revolutionize the way society works and condemn public flatulence?

Throughout the course of history, man has erred on multiple occasions: Slavery; Murdering babies; Pointless wars; Incest; Thinking the world is flat; Enforcing Shakespeare’s plays to join the curriculum, etc. After all these catastrophes, somebody finally figured out that we can no longer live life this way. My question is this: When did farting become so outrageous? Perhaps it was getting too loud, too smelly, or people noticed that they were accidentally going to the bathroom. I don’t know the cause. I never will.

I have a dream that one day my little children will be able to sneeze, cough, blow their noses, and pass gas in public without the fear of being talked about throughout the religious community. I have a dream! that a kollel avreich will be judged not by his normal,healthy bodily functions, but by the content of his wife’s chulent. Oh I have a dream! I have a dream that one day a yeshiva bachur with an upset stomach will be able to fart in front of his chevrusa and not have to worry that he will be chayav kareis for being bittul Torah! I have a dream! I have a dream that a bachur can go on a shiddach date and not have to worry that he will never hear the girl pass gas! I have a dream! We must start the process now. The world must wake up and smell the flatulence! It won’t hurt you as much as holding it in!

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Posted on November 14, 2011, in Uncategorized and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 4 Comments.

  1. Bobby Orr-Somayach

    I don’t know about you, but if my Rabbi let one rip during a Drasha, I (and I’m assuming the vast majority of the congregation present) would be in stitches!!!! That would be BEYOND epically hillarious!

    Like

  2. It might sound great from your perspective, but for the rest of us in the room, not so much.

    Like

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