Witty Pun Related to Judaism

I’m standing in a customer service line waiting to be taken, and there are three possible representatives: an African-American, an Asian, and a Jew. The first thought that pops into my head is, “I hope I get the Asian.” Now, I’ll admit this happened at an electronics store, and racism aside, this was probably the correct choice, but you know where I’m headed. I don’t find myself associating with “the Jew” in random settings. I love him like a brother, but I don’t necessarily like him.

Maybe you think you’re different, and I’m the self-hater. In that case, take this short quiz: Do you wish a Good Shabbos to every random Jew you see on the way to shul? When you see one walking down Bathurst, do you stop and offer them a lift towards their destination? If somehow you answered “yes” to either of the above questions, it’s probably because you first spent at least ten seconds sizing them up to see if they were worth your time.

There are greater ways that this might affect my decision-making. For instance, when it’s a clear choice of giving business to a Jew over a Gentile, you go with the Jew 9/10 times. Yet even in those situations, the Jew knows the game, and will probably charge double to rip you off. People have the idea that you NEED to help your fellow Yid support his family, but too often, it’s him that doesn’t care about you. Don’t expect to get my business just because your name ends with “Stein” or “Ovich.” You’re probably not as good, more expensive, and generally unpleasant. The thing is, from my perspective, you’re doing something wrong, but from yours, it’s my fault for not thinking about you. To a certain extent, neither of us is incorrect. We have a mutual lack of appreciation towards each other as Jews.

It could be that living in Jew-filled Toronto has desensitized me from getting excited when I see someone with a kippah (man or woman). Maybe if I were around less Jews, they would mean more to me, and maybe I’m taking them for granted. But when I’m one of two obvious-looking Jews in a store, should I care? Do I awkwardly nod to acknowledge for no apparent reason that we have each others’ backs in case some Nazism goes down? There should be a secret handshake reserved specifically for these scenarios. It would have to be really complicated and cool.


Posted on October 16, 2011, in Bathurst Street, controversey, Frummies, Orthodoxy, People, Random, Rants, Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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